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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24097201">look before you leap</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/d_e_s/pseuds/d_e_s'>d_e_s</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Compilation of Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VII Remake (Video Game 2020)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Confessions, Fluff, M/M, Reno is oblivious and Rude is so in love with him smh, soft, this is just something really Soft</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 23:21:38</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,451</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24097201</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/d_e_s/pseuds/d_e_s</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>They sat in an unremarkable diner, in an unremarkable part of the city. It had average food, average drinks, and an interior that hadn’t been updated in the last decade or so. Overall, there was absolutely nothing notable about the diner--and that was exactly why Reno liked to hang out here whenever opportunity allowed. With so much going on in his life already, with the grim reality of his job, sometimes it was nice to be average. Truth be told, the dingy diner was one of Reno’s absolute favorite spots to hang out, and the fact that Rude had agreed to meet him here when it was a rare day off for the both of them meant more to him than he was willing to voice. For, while the inside of the diner was something that would be forgotten moments after leaving, Rude was anything but. // a one shot about first confessions and sudden realizations</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Reno &amp; Rude (Compilation of FFVII)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>24</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>look before you leap</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Oh come on, you’ve gotta like <em> someone! </em>” </p><p>They sat in an unremarkable diner, in an unremarkable part of the city. It had average food, average drinks, and an interior that hadn’t been updated in the last decade or so. Overall, there was absolutely <em> nothing </em> notable about the diner--and that was exactly why Reno liked to hang out here whenever opportunity allowed. With so much going on in his life already, with the grim reality of his job, sometimes it was nice to be average. Truth be told, the dingy diner was one of Reno’s absolute favorite spots to hang out, and the fact that Rude had agreed to meet him here when it was a rare day off for the both of them meant more to him than he was willing to voice. For, while the inside of the diner was something that would be forgotten moments after leaving, Rude was anything but. </p><p>They were tucked in a corner booth, away from the world, and he couldn’t keep his eyes off of Rude. There was something so <em> compelling </em> about the other man, something so <em> inviting </em>. It was a feeling that Reno had never felt before from another person, and no matter how often he spent time with Rude, it never felt like enough. Even when they weren’t talking, Reno found himself content, the ache in his chest he had thought permanent (as it had been there for as long as he could remember, a spiderweb of fractured glass) suddenly not as violent and sharp. Warmth (unfamiliar, as he wasn’t used to warmth that didn’t burn him) danced in Reno’s gaze as he shifted so he could lean his elbows against the table and rested his head against his palms, a grin bright on his face as he watched Rude. For a split second, he could have sworn that Rude’s movements stuttered, as though something had caught him off guard, but the moment was gone so quickly, Reno was certain he’d just imagined it. </p><p>“No,” Rude said after a moment of hesitation. It was unfortunate for him that he’d spent so much time around Reno, because in an instant, Reno knew that he was being lied to. </p><p>“Tsch, you’re not getting off that easy, Rude,” Reno scolded as he shamelessly reached out and stole some of Rude’s fries. In the same motion, he dunked them into his milkshake, and thoughtfully popped them into his mouth as he studied the man before him. It was always hard to read Rude when he had his sunglasses on, and had they not been in a public place, Reno likely would have asked him to take them off. He knew such a request would be refused, though, especially here. </p><p>“Everyone at work keeps asking me if I know about your crush. Since when did people start taking such an interest in what you’re up to?” Reno questioned. “And since when do they know more about you than I do?” Determination shone in Reno’s gaze as he questioned Rude, and for a moment, he was a little <em> too </em> intent on getting an answer. “Is it someone I know?” Reno asked as he settled back against the booth, having become aware of how intent he was getting into what was supposed to be a casual conversation--that was weird, wasn’t it? Why did he care so much about who Rude liked? </p><p>“No,” Rude repeated. In tandem with the answer, he pushed his basket of fries closer towards Reno in invitation, as he knew there was no point in trying to stop the other from eating them.</p><p>“No, I don’t know them? Or no, you’re not going to tell me no matter how often I ask you?” Reno asked as he shamelessly helped himself to some of the offered fries. </p><p>“No, they don’t know me better than you do,” Rude clarified, though he had to clear his throat a bit before speaking. “I don’t know why they’re saying I have a crush on someone. Stop worrying.” </p><p>Startled, Reno abruptly sat up, uncomfortable with just how easily Rude had seen through his questioning. That was one of the things he’d yet to get used to about Rude: he wasn’t used to someone so <em> easily </em> reading him. An uneasy sensation spread over his skin, sharp and staticy, and the previous comfort he had been basking in disappeared in a breath. It was an irrational reaction, a reaction borne from instinct and fear, but he was powerless to stop it. He could feel the weight of Rude’s gaze on him, but this time he did not meet it. Instead, he turned his attention to the last of his milkshake, and finished it with one last large bite of half-blended ice cream--though, it proved to be a mistake, as his avoidance was instantly punished with a massive brain freeze. </p><p>“Oh, fuck, I forgot,” Reno complained as he rubbed at his temples. “Can’t do that anymore.” </p><p>Instantly, Rude pushed a glass of room temperature (this place never had ice) water towards him, which Reno gratefully accepted. </p><p>“Several people have told me that you have a crush on someone,” Rude said as Reno chugged his water. “Figured that they were making it up, since you’ve never mentioned anything to me, but I’m starting to think they might be right.”</p><p>“Who told you that?” Reno demanded as a faint flush colored his cheeks, and he nearly slammed the now-empty water glass onto the table. “Was it Tseng?” For just a moment, he thought he saw Rude smile--the faintest curve of his mouth, the way he looked away as soon as Reno looked back at him--and he felt something soften deep within him at Rude’s almost amusement: it was a rare sight, even for him. With a sigh, Reno shook his head and slapped some gil on the tabe, suddenly too restless to continue to simply sit. </p><p>“Don’t listen to him,” Reno continued as he stood and laced his fingers together overhead in an attempt to stretch out his stiff shoulders. “He acts like he’s all formal and professional, but he’s really not. C’mon, let’s get out of here. I’m getting tired of just sitting.” A lifetime of lessons learned the hard way had taught him it was best not to stay in one place for too long, regardless of how safe it seemed on the surface: he’d yet to find a place where he could truly feel comfortable. </p><p>Rude, having finished his meal long ago, did not argue with Reno. Instead, as he stood, he simply slid the gil back towards Reno, and placed his own on the table. “It’s my turn,” he said in response to Reno’s questioning glance, before he adjusted his glasses and started to head towards the door. </p><p>Brow furrowed, Reno glanced at the table, before he shrugged and took back the gil he had placed down earlier. He wasn’t certain what Rude meant when he had said it was his turn--he didn’t have the time to think too much about the oddity, though, as it seemed that Rude wasn’t going to wait for him. “Yo, partner, wait up!” Reno called, though he did not hurry his pace out the door: he knew Rude would wait for him. Leisurely, he slipped out the back door, and stood shoulder to shoulder with Rude. It was starting to get late: darkness was starting to engulf the city, and the familiar buzz of street lights was a near-constant hum in his ear. People were starting to get off work: he could see them milling in the streets as they waited for friends and coworkers, though some were clearly in a hurry to get home. And though he could not make out what they were saying, he could hear their voices and laughter in the air. </p><p>This was his favorite time of day. He wondered, if only for a second, what Rude’s favorite time of day was, or if he even had one. Instinct told Reno that it wasn’t right now, but perhaps a bit later in the night. When everything went quiet, and the world went to sleep for all but the night owls. Quietly, Reno shifted so he could bump his shoulder against Rude’s in a gentle bid for his attention, and was delighted when he felt the slight bump immediately returned. He knew that he didn’t need to bump against Rude to get his attention, he’d never had to struggle to get Rude’s attention, but some part of him craved the physical contact. It was a part of him he knew better than to look too closely at, a part of him he rarely dared to indulge, but it felt <em> good </em>to allow himself to this time. And, as long as he continued to ignore it after, what was the harm? </p><p>“You wanna come back to my place?” Reno asked as he glanced over at Rude with a grin, and the warmth that had blanketed him earlier once again danced brightly in his gaze. Maybe it was the call of the evening getting to him, as he watched people embrace their loved ones and laugh at jokes only they would understand, or maybe it was the fact that today had been the first good day he’d had in a long time--whatever the reason, Reno found that he did not want to part with him.. </p><p>The question had startled Rude. Suddenly, he seemed a little too still, a little tense, and it was almost as if he had forgotten how to breathe. Whereas his attention had previously been intent on Reno, it seemed that now, he wanted to look anywhere but at Reno, as though everything else in the world was suddenly more interesting than his companion. Had it been anyone else, Reno might have felt at least the tiniest bit offended by the response, but he knew Rude, and he knew this was no insult: if anything, it was a compliment, as very little was capable of genuinely surprising the other to this point. With a soft ‘heh’ of laughter, Reno shook his head and smiled at Rude with a mixture of amusement and affection. There was definitely something wrong with him tonight, but just as before, Reno found himself unwilling to fight it.</p><p>“You sure?” Rude finally asked, uncertainty in his voice as he glanced back at Reno. Reno understood why he was asking: due to the nature of their job, it was important to keep work and personal life separate. Home was a very personal thing, and by inviting Rude over, Reno was actively threatening the balance. What Rude didn’t know, though, was that Reno had never considered where he lived now as a home. It was a place he stayed, a place he slept, but it was not his home, and because of that, there was no danger in inviting someone over. </p><p>The thought was bittersweet against his tongue, so he chose not to dwell on it. </p><p>“Yeah, yeah, come on,” Reno said as he began to walk in the direction of his apartment. That was another reason he had suggested they meet up at the diner: he lived within walking distance. “It’s really not that big of a deal, partner. Stop worrying so much, especially about me. I’m fine.” He could feel Rude’s hesitation behind him, and suddenly, Reno was glad that he wasn’t facing the other. Rude had already seen through him once today, and those emotions had been far less significant than what he was feeling right now: he didn’t want to be read, because he knew any conversation that came too close to being a heart to heart would only result in an argument. It always did. Before he had to worry about whether or not Rude would actually follow him, Reno felt the other step up beside him, their strides instantly falling into sync. </p><p>Rude wanted to say something. Reno could see it in the set of his jaw, the slight tilt of his head, and he was curious as to whether or not he’d like what Rude wanted to say. The tempo of his earlier thoughts had worked him up, and the static feeling was once again crackling against his skin, sharp and unyielding, and he had nobody but himself to blame for it this time.</p><p>“You never answered me earlier,” Rude said finally, apparently having decided to ask his question after all. </p><p>“What question?” Reno asked, unable to remember what he might have forgotten to answer. </p><p>“If you have a crush on someone or not,” Rude clarified, as soft curiosity wrapped itself around his words.</p><p>All at once, a familiar sensation roared to life within Reno. It was the same sensation that had made him bump shoulders with Rude earlier, the same sensation that had made it impossible to say goodbye. It crashed over him like a clap of thunder during a thunderstorm, deafening him to everything but the feeling that choked his throat and squeezed his heart until it threatened to rip apart. The feeling of static that had been ever-present rose with the sudden surge, overwhelming in its entirety, and for a moment Reno felt as though he had forgotten how to breathe. Vaguely, he was aware of the fact that they were standing in front of his apartment, of the fact that he was opening the door and letting them both in, but he no longer felt in control of his own actions. </p><p>With a shrug, Reno slipped off his coat and tossed it onto the nearby chair, and gestured for Rude to do the same. </p><p>“Eh, crushes are kind of dangerous in this line of work, aren’t they?” he asked. “Our work is too...messy.” </p><p>“That’s not an answer,” Rude said after it was clear that Reno wasn’t going to elaborate. It was unlike him to push a topic so much, and Reno couldn’t help but wonder <em> why </em> Rude was suddenly so insistent on getting an answer. </p><p>“Make yourself at home, partner,” Reno invited as he gracelessly threw himself onto most of the couch and chewed on his bottom lip, thoughtful. To his delight, however, it seemed that Rude took his offer as genuine: no sooner had Rude slipped off his shoes than he came over and sat on the bit of couch Reno wasn't taking up. Immediately, Reno shifted so he could properly use Rude’s lap as a pillow, as shameless in his affections as he ever was. This was hardly the first time he’d used Rude as a pillow, and he found the other as comfortable as he always did. There was something different about this, though, a charge in the air that had been lingering ever since they’d been eating together in the diner. </p><p>It was a fucking shame that he couldn’t put his finger on just <em> what </em> that difference was, no matter how hard he tried to. </p><p>“You can’t seriously expect me to tell you about whether or not I have a crush, when I asked you first and you held out on me?” Reno questioned, faint amusement in his voice. He was deflecting, again, but this time it was in the form of a challenge instead of a simple subject dodge and redirect. While Rude wasn’t hesitant to call him out when he was trying to dodge a question, he was far less willing to continue pursuing a topic if Reno challenged him on something. It was something Reno genuinely hated using against the other--he so, so badly wanted to know more about Rude, to unravel the mysteries the other was so deeply enshrouded in--but desperate times called for desperate measures. </p><p>The soft clatter of something being set down on the end table surprised him. After Rude had gone silent, Reno had assumed that he simply wasn’t going to respond to his comment. With a soft grunt, Reno shifted so he lay on his back instead of his side, and glanced up at Rude. And, while he hadn’t been certain what he’d expected, it definitely wasn’t for Rude to take off his sunglasses. Immediately, Reno was caught up in Rude’s gaze, his own eyes widening as he got lost within the depths of Rude’s eyes. Suddenly aware of the rapid beat of his heart, Reno’s breath caught as he met Rude’s gaze, undefended and open.</p><p>There was a quiet exhaustion in those eyes. A tiredness that they all carried, but so rarely expressed. Mingled with the exhaustion was an uncertainty, though, a worry that surprised Reno more than he would admit to. A quiet desire swept over him, and he longed to reach up and press his hand against Rude’s face, to chase away whatever it was that was leaving him so worried and uncertain. He knew better than that, though; laying in Rude’s lap was one thing, reaching up to caress his face was an entirely different sort of affection. It was the same sort of affection that had struck him so harshly once already, the kind of affection he tried so hard to not look at, for fear of what the results would be if he gave in. Try as he may, he couldn’t look away from Rude’s gaze. The air around them had changed again--it sparkled and crackled with the sensation Reno had yet to be able to name--and Reno couldn’t help but feel totally and indescribably lost. </p><p>“It’s like you said, Reno,” Rude murmured, “crushes are messy, and I don’t like when things are messy. Do you really want to pursue this?” There was clear warning in his words, embedded deep within, and Reno shivered upon hearing it. They were standing at a precipice here, and Rude was telling him that he had two options: he either backed off, and this entire conversation would be forgotten, or he could take the chance and jump.</p><p>He chose to jump. </p><p>“I’ll make you a deal: I’ll tell you if you tell me,” Reno bargained. As soon as he spoke, he felt his stomach drop: there was no way he’d be able to honor his part of the deal. Sure, he could give Rude a name of a crush he’d had in the past, but that was hardly the same as admitting where his heart was currently. There was no way he could admit that, though--that was something he hadn’t admitted to himself. Even as he stared into Rude’s eyes, as he felt himself swept off his feet by the sheer amount of emotion he saw in his gaze, Reno could not allow his mind to wander too far, to scratch the itch that had been nagging at the corner of his mind, because he was <em> afraid </em>. </p><p>Maybe if he wasn’t such a coward, things would be different. </p><p>“Alright,” Rude said after a moment, his hesitation tangible. Reno--being laid across his lap as he was--could feel the sudden surge in tension in the other. Whoever this mystery crush was, Rude seemed to be incredibly protective of them: usually, he was willing to answer Reno’s questions with little prodding. Briefly, Reno wondered just <em> who </em> Rude was so intent on protecting, for whoever it was, they must be incredibly important to him. And on some level, Reno had to admit that that scared him--that had been why he’d been so insistent earlier, and why Rude had been correct when he told him not to worry. Though Reno had a lot of people he was friendly with, he did not have many friends, and more than anything else, he was <em> afraid </em> of losing Rude. </p><p>Rude wasn’t looking at him again. </p><p>Maybe he shouldn’t have pushed him so hard. </p><p>“I--” Reno said.</p><p>“You,” Rude said at the same time, his jaw set as he looked anywhere and everywhere but at the man casually sprawled out on his lap. </p><p>It was at that moment that Reno felt his entire world shift and tilt off axis as it threatened to spin wildly out of control. As his world tilted, the emotions that had been haunting him all evening suddenly crashed over him, and swallowed him before he had a chance to even take a breath. A hundred different thoughts at a hundred different volumes echoed in his mind and beat against his chest, and he found himself unable to breathe as he attempted to sort through the cacophony of emotions that consumed him. It was only when Rude suddenly moved under him that he was forcibly jerked back to the present, and time once again continued to flow around him. With a start, Reno moved to sit up just as Rude moved to get up, and the two collided with a loud <em> crack </em> that sent Rude tumbling back onto the couch, and Reno holding his face with an equally loud groan.</p><p>“Rude, wait,” Reno said quickly as he blinked away stars from his vision, the throb of his head nothing compared to the sudden ache in his chest, as though he’d been torn open and carved out, left hollow. “Don’t go--”</p><p>“I’ve stayed too long,” Rude said as he attempted to get back up, albeit much more carefully this time. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” Immediately, he reached for his sunglasses, and Reno knew that the second those went back on he’d lose any and all chances to properly talk to Rude. Impulse overrode rationality, and before he could stop himself, Reno launched himself across the couch and tumbled off the end table, Rude’s glasses clutched against his chest as he desperately tried to figure out what he wanted to say. </p><p>“Don’t you want to know who I have a crush on?” Reno questioned as he scrambled to his feet, unwilling to let Rude leave just yet. He didn’t know what he was going to say--he didn’t know what he <em> wanted </em> to say--but among all his confusion, there was one thing he was certain of: he didn’t want Rude to leave. “Wasn’t that our deal, partner?” He dodged as Rude made a half-hearted grab towards him, and his heart ached as he took in Rude’s expression. There was something so <em> sad </em> in Rude’s gaze, as though he mourned the loss of a loved one, and Reno couldn’t help but feel guilty for it. </p><p>For a long time, they stood in place, each one waiting for the other to make a move. And then, just as suddenly as he stood up, Rude sat back down against the couch. Only, there was something incredibly <em> defeated </em> in the gesture. Whatever reaction he had been hoping for, it was clear that Reno had failed from the beginning--and he hadn’t even had time to respond yet. With a deep breath, Reno reached out and placed the sunglasses back on the end table, and ignored the mess he had made by sliding across it just moments ago. Now that it was clear that Rude was going to stay, all the courage he had managed to gather moments ago seemed to flee from him, until he was once again left to weather the storm that raged within him. </p><p>Godamnit, he was tired of this. </p><p>With an energy that surprised even himself, Reno crossed the divide that had so painfully separated them and finally, finally, he took Rude’s face in his hands. Thumbs traced a gentle pattern as they explored every inch of Rude’s face as he had longed to do for so long, before he tilted Rude’s face up and pressed their foreheads together, eyes bright with false confidence. He waited for Rude to object to the sudden physical contact, to pull away from him and the entire situation. He waited, because he wanted to know that this was okay--and as soon as Rude closed his eyes and exhaled a shaky, uncertain breath, Reno knew his gestures were wanted.</p><p>And before he could think too hard, he kissed him. He kissed him, and it felt so <em> good </em>. </p><p>Rude hesitated for only a moment, before he kissed Reno back, and as his strong arms wrapped around the other, Reno couldn’t help but feel more at <em> home </em> than he could ever remember being. The storm that had previously threatened to overwhelm him suddenly didn’t seem as scary: it was exciting, electrifying, and he wanted more. Ghosts of the past tried to play into his fears, tried to drag him back down into the waters, but for the first time in a long time, they had no fears to play on. </p><p>Slowly, Reno pulled back, though his forehead remained pressed against Rude’s. He was out of breath, and though he wanted to speak, he found he could do little more than just breathe. A flush had long-since warmed his cheeks, and as he met Rude’s eyes, he saw that he wasn’t the only one so strongly moved by the kiss. While Rude was not flushed, the surprise and warmth in his gaze was enough to knock the wind out of Reno for a second time. He’d caught Rude by surprise again--he seemed to be good at that today--and he couldn’t help but grin in response, hair mussed and falling into his face as he fought back the laughter that had suddenly started to bubble and blossom in his chest. The warmth he had felt earlier was back, and he revelled in it, delighted by the unfamiliar sensation.</p><p>“So,” Reno began once he had finally caught his breath, “what were you saying? About tomorrow?” he teased, unable to keep the laughter from his voice as he watched Rude’s eyes widen. </p><p>“I--uhm--” Rude began, unable to keep a smile off of his face in response to Reno’s delight. Rude’s own heart was beating furiously in his chest; he’d been completely swept off his feet by the sudden kiss, and any chance he had had at composure had long since gone out the window. Reno had a funny way of doing that to him. </p><p>“What about after work? I’m thinking dinner, some drinks?” Reno questioned, delighted at just how flustered Rude seemed to be. “I mean, I’m assuming you’re trying to ask me out on a date. Pretty sure I gave you a pretty solid answer, after all.” </p><p>“Dinner,” Rude agreed with a soft huff of a laugh, a rare sound. “Do you want to go out for dinner with me tomorrow night?”</p><p>“Mhm, I think I can manage it,” Reno agreed, heart soaring as he listened to that gentle laugh. “You’ve got a date, partner.” </p><p>Rude laughed again, and Reno couldn’t help but think that if he were to hear that sound for the rest of his life, he’d be happy. </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>thank you for reading! ♡ these two are near and dear to my heart, but i've never had the courage to post one of my drabbles about them until now, so i hope you enjoyed.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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